Fluffernutter
by tmntyyh
Summary: Tony just wanted to show Steve some of the culinary delights that had been created over the decades. He never meant to accidentally almost-kill the guy. Warnings are inside.


Title: Fluffernutter

Summary: Tony just wanted to show Steve some of the culinary delights that had been created over the decades. He never meant to accidentally almost-kill the guy.

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to admit, I own nothing.

Warnings: Slightly graphic situations, swearing, a dirty joke or two, poor grammar/spelling, etc. I haven't been following Steve's journey in _Captain America_ so if things are off or don't make sense it's because I'm going by the odd thoughts in my head. After all, I don't know if the serum cured everything when Steve was sickly. So, remember: forgiveness!

* * *

"Please tell me that you aren't eating eggs and dry toast with orange juice again," Tony rasped as he coddled his mug of coffee close to his chest. His hair was mussed and he looked as though he was awake for the last three days straight. A pair of sunglasses covered his eyes even though it was only seven in the morning and Steve was certain that he had been toiling away in his lab all night long. If the brunette had actually been drinking during the night, he would have been nursing his mug of coffee closer to noon than seven.

"Uh," Steve muttered as he looked down at his poached egg, piece of toast and a glass of orange juice. It was perfect for his pre-workout breakfast and he would make something heavier to eat after he had finished demolishing a few punching bags and gone for a jog around the city.

"Seriously," Tony croaked as he pulled his sunglasses up to rest on the top of his head. "I get that some of your annoying habits like waking up at the ass-crack of dawn are hard to change, but there are plenty of things that you can eat rather than a meal that I'm sure they don't even serve to prisoners anymore." The super soldier had the good grace to look slightly affronted as he looked down at his early breakfast, unable to see what was so wrong with having a consistently balanced meal before working out. "I'm making you a fluffernutter."

"A _what_?" Steve asked as he watched the brunette root through the cabinets, pulling out a jar of peanut butter and fluff before searching for a loaf of bread that he was certain Pepper had brought over with the weekly groceries that she purchased under the belief that if it were left up to Tony, they would drink themselves to death on an empty stomach.

"Wouldn't a peanut butter and jelly sandwich be better?" a voice called out, getting both of the men to turn towards the scientists that was standing in the doorway with a wry grin on his face. "You could always ease him into using fluff."

"I don't have jelly," Tony remarked with a derisive snort as he fished a loaf of bread out of a cabinet, fumbling to the twist tie before removing it with his teeth lest he tear into the plastic covering like an animal.

"Really?" Bruce asked, sounding highly amused. "You don't have any jelly?"

"You caught me," the other brunette admitted as he tossed a grin and wink over his shoulder Steve. "I don't have any _edible_ jelly in the Tower. There was an incident with my habit of refrigerating it and well, it's best that I don't go into it before breakfast." A soft and disgusted chuckle came from Bruce while Steve tried to work out what Tony had meant by that, quickly giving up and filing that under the torrid litany of dirty things that often came from the genius at any given time. "Here we go!" the brunette called out triumphantly as he handed the messy sandwich to the blonde Avenger; peanut butter and fluff oozing from the edges. A wide and happy smile lit up the playboy's face as he gestured animatedly. "Go on and take a bite! Mothers have been sending their brats off to school with these kind of sandwiches for decades! It's good!"

"Usually it's made with jelly," Bruce remarked as he set about making himself a similar sandwich.

"Fluffernutter's don't have jelly," Tony remarked, grinning when Steve took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. "They have marshmallow fluff."

"Fluff?" Steve asked, his voice thick around the sickly sweet concoction that made it difficult to swallow. He was finding it difficult to draw his breath as his breath hitched in his chest. Setting his sandwich down as he frowned, the blonde straightened his back and tried to swallow, a soft and wheezed sound coming from his mouth as he found himself unable to do so.

"Basically liquid marshmallow," the genius clarified before turning and nudging Bruce as he made his sandwich much neater. "We need to introduce Captain Spanx to the wonders of s'mores! You're going to love them-" Tony started as he turned around, eyes widening at how the blonde had suddenly gone pale in such a short period of time. "Bruce!" he called out Steve rose from his chair, eyes fluttering before he collapsed to the floor.

Running around the island, the scientist wanted as his friend kneeled beside the felled Captain, pressing his fingers against his throat as he looked at his watch. "It's thready at best."

"He's allergic to peanuts," Tony muttered as his mind quickly ran through their chances of getting to a shot of epinephrine before it was too late. "You stay with him," the playboy called out, not even registering the nod as he ran sprinting out of the room as fast as he could. He could remember that Pepper had placed a first aid kit in the hallway just in case if he managed to hurt himself while stumbling around drunk.

Tearing the white, metal box off of the wall, he ran back towards the kitchen, his mind racing with excerpts from Steve's file.

_Subject's metabolism is approximately four times greater than that of a normal human's._

_Regenerative qualities are amalgamated with subject's metabolic rate._

_Caloric intake has increased with metabolism._

Four times greater was the part that sent a chill up Tony's spine. He recalled back when he was young about stories he was told about Captain America before he had taken the serum. Vague mentions of how he was a scrawny little artist from Brooklyn who wanted to protect his country from evil. A kid who was rejected from the army for being too frail and sickly. His father never delved into what "sickly" entailed and right at that moment, he began to wish that his father had told him more about the famous Captain.

Because if the notes were correct and the blonde had a severe allergic reaction before the serum, a matter of seconds would be all that it would take to kill their leader. And that frightened Tony more than the possibility of walking in on Natasha straddling Clint's groin.

Dashing back into the kitchen, Tony's brown eyes widened dramatically at the sight of Bruce holding a kitchen knife to Steve's throat, momentarily forgetting that his fellow scientist was on their side. "Hey!"

"His throat's closed," Bruce muttered as he tried to hold the knife steady against Steve's throat with one hand, his other hand clutching at a thick straw. Hurrying to his side, the genius dropped the metal box unceremoniously on the floor, opening the lid and flinging the contents around the room as he looked for a shot of epinephrine.

"Captain Rogers' vital signs are plummeting," JARVIS called out overhead, the artificial intelligence even sounding frazzled.

"Do it," Tony ordered as his fingers clutched around the shot, quickly uncapping it and making sure that there were no air bubbles before he plunged the needle into the blonde's thigh. "JARVIS, call an ambulance!"

"They are in the elevator as we speak," JARVIS replied, making Tony grateful that at least his AI had the foresight to send for help when the Captain showed signs of anaphylactic shock. He pushed down on the plunger, emptying the contents of the syringe into Steve's bloodstream, hoping that his body metabolized everything at the same speed. Looking up, he winced as Bruce pulled the bloody knife away and pulled the flesh of his throat open with his fingers, pushing the straw inside to perform an emergency tracheotomy.

Two sets of eyes looked to the blonde's chest, watching for any signs of movement. "He's not breathing," they both called out at once while Bruce fisted his hands over the Captain's chest and pushed down firmly. Tony wondered darkly just how they were going to get the Captain to breathe again. It was not as though they could give him mouth-to-mouth with his throat closed and he certainly had his doubts that they were going to breathe into the straw to get Steve's lungs working again.

"Captain Rogers' vital signs are showing no signs of stabilizing," JARVIS called out as people swarmed into the kitchen and suddenly Steve was being wheeled out of sight, leaving two frazzled brunette's behind with a bloody knife.

"...Shit," Bruce breathed as he looked in the direction of where the EMTs had fled with Steve, paying no attention to the blood on his hands, on the floor, or on the kitchen knife.

"...He can eat all the poached eggs he wants," Tony remarked dryly as he swallowed and tried to calm his heartbeat in his chest. They were not out of the woods yet and had come drastically close to losing their leader all because they did not know much about him. "Come on," he said as he nudged Bruce with his elbow. "We're going to the hospital."

* * *

Half an hour later, Tony was speeding through the streets of Manhattan as he tried to think of how he was going to explain himself to their teammates. Luckily for him, Clint and Natasha were out on a SHIELD mandated mission and would not be back for a few more weeks, giving him time to come up with a good excuse if the Captain was not fully recovered by then. Unfortunately, Thor was due back around lunch and would become highly distraught at the sight of a hospitalized Captain America. The two blondes had bonded just like Clint and Natasha had and like how he had bonded with Bruce. And if seeing Thor happy was a force to be reckoned with, he was not going to like seeing Thor upset about the state his friend was in.

...And then there was Nick Fury.

With any luck, he could wriggle his way out from underneath the one-eyed glare and vicious tongue-lashing that he was sure to get.

Finding parking at the hospital was a horrible task but getting into Steve's room proved even more harrowing. It took him sweet-talking the nurse before they could even find the room and once they had, after getting past all of the frazzled doctors and nurses, they were stuck in the waiting room for a while. A doctor had come to speak to them a short while later, praising their quick thinking and promising that none of this would reach the news after Tony had threatened the building with a visit from the not-so-Jolly Green Giant.

Bruce led them into the small hospital room and Tony winced at the sight of Steve. He was propped up on the small hospital bed, being pumped full of drugs and chemicals. Thick bandages were wrapped around his throat but the blonde was lucky to be breathing on his own. The playboy watched as his fellow Avenger picked up Steve's chart and flipped through it. "The good part," the thin brunette remarked as he skimmed through the pages, not noticing when the Captain's eyes fluttered open slowly, "is that he can be released as soon as he is ready."

"And your going for testing," Tony said cheerfully as he patted Steve's shoulder, not feeling nearly as cheerful as he sounded.

"...I'm not that good at taking tests," Steve rasped as he blinked slowly, his voice rough and sounding like he had been gargling sandpaper and cigarettes for the past seventy years.

"Too bad," the brunette retorted as he plopped down in one of the horribly uncomfortable chairs that was beside the bed. "We need to know of everything that you're allergic to and what the serum couldn't fix."

"Wouldn't Fury have that list?" Bruce questioned as he set the chart back down.

"Great, we can send Thor to go get it," Tony quipped before smiling meekly at Steve. "I'm sorry, buddy."

"It's...okay," the blonde replied as he swallowed dryly.

"He nearly dies because I made him a sandwich and he says that everything's okay," the brunette muttered as he rolled his eyes. "Maybe your star-spangled head isn't grasping how serious this was, Steve. I, the great Tony Stark, nearly killed you with a sandwich."

"...Just wait until Pepper hears about this," Bruce cut in, earning himself a glare from his friend. "You have to admit, aside from the whole nearly-dying part, it's a little amusing."

"Just for that, you get to tell Thor," Tony spat back, taking enjoyment at how the thin brunette paled. "Not so amusing now, huh?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who nearly killed him!"

"...Guys?" Steve rasped as he looked between the bickering scientists.

"It was a sandwich! How was I supposed to know that he was deathly allergic to peanuts?"

"You claim to be a genius."

"Hello, I _am_ a genius!"

"You have a room filled with Captain America memorabilia."

"You do?" Steve cut it just to be ignored by both of the brunettes.

"So? That doesn't mean that I know his life story!" A simple look from Bruce made Tony sulk. "All right, so I know his life story." Looking over at the slightly confused blonde that had patches of reddened skin sticking out from underneath the bandages, the brunette sighed remorsefully. "I _swear_ I didn't know that you were allergic. I'm an ass but I wouldn't knowingly feed you stuff that would kill you!"

"I know," the Captain said as he smiled softly. "It's okay."

"We'll make sure that you don't come in contact with anything else that you could be allergic to once you are tested for allergic reactions back at the Tower," Bruce said as he nodded to himself.

"...You're still telling Thor," Tony remarked, grinning at the sullen glare he was given.

"_I_ didn't nearly kill one of his best friends!"

"I didn't _know_ he was allergic to peanuts!"

"And you can tell that to Thor!" Bruce called out as he smiled triumphantly.

"...Steve, buddy..." Tony broached with a charming smile.

"I'll tell him, don't worry," Steve rasped, making the scientist whoop in victory. "...But you might want to put on your suit...just in case."

* * *

Review and let me know what you thought. I'm thinking about doing a set of one-shots about the Avengers showing Steve and Thor different kinds of food. Yay or nay?


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